Brittney Leigh

Walls

I’ve heard it so many times

Something about walls.

Her heart was protected by them.

She built them up because she didn’t want to get hurt again.

Why can’t I do that?

Maybe someone can teach me.

My heart needs some protection.

(Source: ifthestarscamecrashingdown)

I can finally say that even after all this time…

If I could have anything in the world….

It wouldn’t be you.

No one to blame but herself.

As soon as she read the words, fury filled her whole body. Never had she experienced anger so great.

Not only anger…

Hurt. Rejection. Jealousy.

but in the midst of her anger was an awful realization. 

Awful, it may be, but true it was.

Never was there a single feeling of love, but only a desire to be loved.

She didn’t have her eyes fixed on him. She had them fixed on another.

Another who has no knowledge of her feelings. He passes her without a glance, as if she doesn’t even exist. He ignores her phone calls, as if he never knew her number.

And still, she wants him.

In the midst of her anger she realized that she shouldn’t be mad at him, because if he knew the truth, of her feelings for another, he would be mad at her.

And there she sat, wallowing in self hatred and insecurity with no one to blame but herself. 

Fix Me

Hearing your name being called out from an unfamiliar voice is a strange feeling.

But exciting.

Someone wants to talk to me?

And of course, it was him.

The boy who, up until this point, I had looked at, but never really saw.

Talking to him was too easy. And I was smiling. I was…happy.

Weeks later, I was still happy.

He fixed me. With one casual conversation.

Weeks later, I was still happy. And I thought maybe he was the guy I’d been waiting for. The one who I could spend hours with and not get tired his company. The one who could make me smile with just one word. The one who could make me try new things. The one who could make me forget about the past.

But he wasn’t.

Weeks later, I’m still happy I met him, but I just wish he’d fix me again.

Maybe we were meant to be, or meant to say goodbye.

But my smile’s so much brighter now because you’re in my life.

(Source: petitia)

I hate seeing your face because I wish you loved seeing mine.

This is my dog.

His name is Tigger, and he’s literally my best friend.

Call me crazy, but I talk to him all the time. Because most of the time, no one else will listen to my random, annoying banter. I swear he can read my mind.

He loves me unconditionally, and never gets mad at me. Even when I yell at him to get out from under my feet.

He greets me at the door with his scrunchy face, and I almost always immediately pet him like I haven’t seen him in days.  

He knows when I’m sad, and he always cheers me up :)

We’re best friends. I love him.

Negativity

“I’m so happy. I’m ready to move on.”

In that instant, lightning struck her brain. 

A sudden flash of uncontrollable thoughts and feelings ignited inside her.

She pictured it all.

The happiness, the love, the comfort…

And then she saw him leaving, the pain, the sadness, the heartbreak.

For the first time in her life, she doubted whether or not she really wanted him.

Is the temporary happiness really worth the inevitable pain?

No, it’s not. Because in the end, I’m the one crying myself to sleep, and he’s the one not caring in the least bit. I’m the one who looks in the mirror and wonders why I’m not good enough. I’m the one who tries and tries to make things right, regardless of how many times he’s ignored me.

And I sit here, and I look at all the girls who are so “happy” and so “in love”, and I think to myself, “It’s only just a matter of time…”

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